Friday, June 29, 2007

gotta screw em all

There is a kind of people who get on my nerves so much. The irritation is unbearable. I feel like sticking up an umbrella into their anus and sing the Rihanna Umbrella song.

So, like any wise mature good looking tall dark handsome individual would do, i tried rationalizing the whole issue. I failed and ended up getting more irritated.

Thus, i went to the next option. I tried to classify these fools, so that whenever i run into them i can tell my mind to shut down for awhile. The first words that came to my mind was : cynics. These fools are cynics. I hate cynics.

Wait..wait wait wait wait.

Many a times, I've realized that I'm cynical of things myself. Like how certain things went last year. So possibly I can be irritated with myself? Hmmm.

Nope. I realized that while i was being a cynic, I didn't have a hidden motive. Thus I improved on my earlier theory; I'm irritated by people who act cynical for a hidden motive. ON THE SPOT BABY!

My mind flexed it's muscle. There are two main types of cynics. First : the truly cynical people. Second: the acting cynical arses.

Among the first types, there are two subgroups. The first subgroup are the ones who are cynical because they KNOW. Maybe they know that the situation isn't like what it seems. Or they know the other guy is a fool. Like they know NEP isn't working. Or they know that guy with many pet sisters is just faking it. Or they know some celebrity has fake boobies. They know because they have the knowledge,the experience atau telah mendapat wahyu. They simply know lah. If you still don't understand go flush yourself down the toilet.

Then the second subgroup, they are truly cynical, well, because they DON'T KNOW. They think they know lah, but how to know that you don't know when you don't know that you don't know? So they go about being cynical about something, until it dawns upon them how wrong they are. These kinda people can be forgiven, cause you know when it's sincere and he ain't faking the cynicism.

Then comes the second type, the irritating one. The deserve-to-live-in-the-dumpster type. These people be cynical for hidden reasons; like wanting to sound funny, or wanting to project an image of a person who is damn cool (my backside), or wanting to impress some girls or whatever nonsense. The sad thing is, I think many of them are actually true KNOW cynics who have being twisted by the lure and powers of the dark side.Jeng jeng jeng.

They started off as being good true cynics, but when they realized how good it is to be cynical (like so many girls laugh at his joke or shit), they start doing it for absolutely everything. You know what, they only end up sounding stupid after awhile. Eventually they become fully stupid. My backside does sudoku faster than their brains.

So belah la jenis ni. My anger has been channeled out. Gonna sleep for awhile now. Good afternoon.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Summer holiday

Anyone still remember this genius mia face? Miss his eurasian/ABC ice kacang looking face onot?

If no,you can run yourself to a nearest toilet,stuck your head into a bowl,and flush.

If yes, people I just got a good news for you. He's coming back. Approximately in 48 hours time.

To be precise 12.30 on Monday afternoon. So any girls reading this, better get yourself cleanse up from top to toe before Monday afternoon if you wanna see a buffy banana boy liquiding around you. In exchange a sweet affectioners kiss for him of course hehe...

Anticipate his arrival.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Must cut bird bird

Come come. Let me give you guys a good Melayu poem incase you decided to chase after a perempuan Melayu terakhir and not afraid of circumcision.

With this poem, you definitely gonna get laid for sure.

hanya dikau membuat ku risau,
nafaz tak tertentu apabila ku buat salah
ada kala ku rasa ingin gila
gila karna kerinduan yang tak terhingga
terhadap mu
walaupun kita jauh berpisah skrang
tapi hati ku dengan mu tetap bersama
kenakalan mu mencuri hatiku
kemanisan senyumanmu memaniskan
tak ku melupakan segala perkara
tentang mu...
harap dikau yang berada jauh skrang
tidak rasa sepi
karna ada ku slalu disampingmu
dalam mental mu...mimpi
~sayang awak~

Good stuff

I'm copying and pasting this AP article without getting permission. Sue me lah. But good stuff anyways. Try to read it like how somebody who hasn't been saturated by our country's political bullshit for 20 years would (in other words, keep an open mind and behave like a foreigner together with with a Jamaican accent.)

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia — Europe's top envoy to Malaysia Thursday urged the government to roll back its affirmative action policy for majority Malays, saying it is discriminatory and amounts to protectionism against foreign companies.

In unusually frank comments that ignored diplomatic niceties, Thierry Rommel openly criticized Malaysia's 37-year-old New Economic Policy, or NEP, that gives a host of privileges in jobs, education, business and other areas to ethnic Malays.

"In a dominant part of the domestic economy, there is no level playing field for foreign companies," Rommel, the ambassador and head of the European Commission Delegation to Malaysia, said in a speech to local and foreign businessmen.

Ethnic Malays and other indigenous groups, known as Bumiputras, comprise more than 60 percent of Malaysia's 26 million people. The government says they have a disproportionately low share of the corporate wealth compared to the minority Chinese, and need the NEP to increase their standard of living.

The government did not immediately respond to Rommel's comments.

Rommel said the government is using the NEP as an excuse to practice "significant protectionism of its own market," including the automotive sector, steel, consumer goods, agricultural products, services and government contracts.

Malaysia claims these are "infant" industries that need to be protected but "in reality .. it is the Malay-centered Bumiputra policy that drives protectionist policies," Rommel said.

As part of the NEP, all public-listed companies are required to allocate 30 percent of their shares to Malays. Companies without Malay directors or employees are excluded from lucrative government contracts. Employers have quotas for hiring Malays.

Eric Reuter, sales and marketing director of freight forwarder ABX Logistics, said the Belgium-based company has a 51 percent Bumiputra partner and is required to work with local companies on government-related projects.

The limitations have eroded his profit margin, he said.

"We cannot be as flexible as we want to be and chances that corruption comes into play is higher. It is an interruption to the free market," Reuter told The Associated Press.

Besides foreigners, minority ethnic Chinese and Indians also see the NEP as a discriminatory tool. Many Malays also have complained the policy has benefited only a few well-connected people.

NEP was started in 1970 when the Malays' corporate ownership was 2 percent. The aim was to raise it to 30 percent by 2010, from 19 percent now. Chinese, who form a quarter of the population, control 40 percent of corporate wealth.

Rommel stopped short of saying the NEP should be scrapped but told reporters separately: "We (in Europe) have bitten the bullet on a number of sensitive issues, why can't you?"

He warned the NEP could "lead to problems" in free trade negotiations between the EU and the 10-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations, of which Malaysia is a key member.

The two groups agreed last month to launch free trade talks, which could raise ASEAN's exports to the EU by up to 20 percent, Rommel said. Senior officials are expected to hold their first meeting in Vietnam next month, he added.

Probably you know all of this. But never underestimate the importance of reminding ourselves the truth, especially amidst all the lies.

Monday, June 18, 2007

The ex-es

The other day my friend asked me how's my 8 ex's doing right now. I contemplated for awhile

"You know what, I've no idea",I answered.

Intuitively I went over the friendster on that night and check out the profile to see their current status.

One by one I stalk them anonymously.

My 1st ex-girlfriend

My 2nd ex-girlfriend

My 3rd ex-girlfriend

My 4th ex-girlfriend

My 5th ex-girlfriend

My 6th ex-girlfriend

My 7th ex-girlfriend

And finally I most heart ex-girlfriend,8th ex-girlfriend















Oh wait a minute, this is a guy! Sorry wrong picture.

Sweetest among them all.

After looking at their recent picture, I notice some similarity between them. That is they seems much happier without me! without me!! leh...

Look at their cherry looking face. OMG.What a crestfallen moment.

note:above post was created due to humor purposes and also to prove how easily i can abuse friendster by taking picture without permission.They are not my ex laa...XD

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Altantuya murder

To prove my facts about Altantuya murder case right, here is the Independent news on the net that you will never get to see on printed dailys.

It has denoted that conspiracy is lurking behind the high profile case.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Father of twentieth century

Nikola TeslaInventor
1856 - 1943
"Science is but a perversion of itself unless it has as its ultimate goal the betterment of humanity."
—Nikola Tesla

Unbelievable as it may seem, electric power production today and its transmission and transformation into useful work began in the mind of one man, Nikola Tesla. He conceived and perfected it in his laboratory at the end of the nineteenth century. The first radio transmission is also his achievement.

Pioneer and commonly misunderstood, Nikola Tesla remains the great forgotten hero throughout the history of science. The comfort of our lives and the technology making this possible has its foundations in his work, but his name is usually unknown...even among scientists.

His discoveries expand to almost the whole of engineering, from electricity to acoustics, to hydraulics, metallurgy, and geothermy. Nevertheless, his particular character, his strange life, and the secrecy of some of his work has covered his achievements with myths.

The name of Tesla is often related to weird science and secret weapons; however, he never wanted his theories to be used to harm any living being. He always worked for the benefit of mankind, and always believed that through technological progress we can eliminate poverty, war, and disease.

He refused a Nobel prize; he fought Edison and won...but not in the official history books yet pronouncing Edison the King of Electricity and Marconi the Inventor of Radio.

These are the list of invention discovered by Nikola Tesla.

1)Alternating Current and Induction Machines
2)Tesla Transformer
3)Tele-automaton aka remote control
4)Wireless Power Transmission
5)Earthquake Machine
7)Radio X-rays
8)Vaccum Tube Amplifier
9) Death Ray Gun aka laser

Further reading please go to here and here. Here's a video version for those who's not keen of reading.


This video is nasty.The epitome of Rock.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

We're always behind

Recently our local police force has came up with a brilliant way of enhancing its service to the public. As always, the bolehland nation will plagiarise other country's system and utterly fail in enforcing the advantage entails from it.

The PDRM has decided to bring the bicycle force into the street. The English has been using these bicycle force for like ages already until now only the bolehland decided to follow up the trend.

If you compare our very own bicycle force with the English, obviously ours has something amiss.
The coolness and intelligence behind the whole project.

What's so intelligent about this anyway?

English cops clad in a comfortable outfit ( skimpy short,visible clothing,jogging shoe,helmet ) which is suitable for duty flexibility.

Look what our fellow law enforcement is wearing, their uniform! I don't see anything new being implemented except getting the force some shinny new bicycle.

Have you seen anyone riding a bicycle while wearing leather shoe? I thought the force is suppose to promote safety. Where's their helmet ? Water bottle is not provided as well. How can you expect a dehydrated cops to chase after the bandits? You expect them to drop by the 7-11 for water amid their chase ar?

Don't waste our tax money on unproductive project la...use those money to fund our child's education lagi better la..or use it to diminish the proliferate poverty level la...

Do you know that our very own IGP is the culprit of all the crime currently roaming on our street? Check out the ironic part at here.

horny taxi driver

reading the papers while you are half awake can be traumatizing. i don't recommend it unless you want to feel like shit yourself. unfortunately i have this habit and i almost puked when i read this:

Taipei - A Taiwan taxi driver has been sentenced to three years and six months in prison for masturbating while diving women passengers, a newspaper reported Tuesday. The Taipei District Court imposed the sentence Monday on Chiu Huang-po, 35, who performed a lewd act in July 2005, the United Daily News said.

A female passenger in his cab said she was on her mobile phone when Chiu turned around and asked her to pass him tissues that were behind the back seat. She then noticed Chiu's pants were down and he had been masturbating, the newspaper said.

The passenger then asked to leave the taxi, and while she was paying Chiu, he grabbed her breasts, she told police. She then wrote down the taxi's registration number and alerted authorities.

The newspaper said Chiu did the same thing again with another female passenger in March 2006, also in Taipei.


how freaking desperate could he possibly be? i know some really perverted people (some gorillas come to mind), but this brings perversion to a whole new level. what was he trying to do?

maybe her thought the girl would be equally desperate and the sight of him doing it will turn her on.

taximan: pass me tissues please
lady: ok. here you go.
taximan: thank you.
lady: oooh your pants is down. oooh yyou aree..woweeee!

i have advice for you taximan: dream on sucka.

maybe he just couldn't control himself. whatever it is, my morning is ruined.

one final question running thru my mind ( i'm sure other innocent minded ones like me as well :P )

how on earth did he do it and drive at the same time?

A hidden opera diamond

Frankly speaking the moment I hear his voice, I feel a great sensational relief all over my body and almost had tears rolling down my cheek.

There goes the end of Gosh Gorban career.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Lelong lelong

To our cheapskate Indian and Sikh cousin out there,come drop by at Masjid India and grab yourself few piece of sari for your girlfriend or your mom or whoever wears it. But please don't tell them it has been soaked with 2 metres of shit water together with unrecognisable impurities la...

Lie abit won't die one. You'll get their love in return you know.

Picture taken from

On another note, this is so true.

Picture taken from

slippery when wet

hmmm about women...

i have this friend whose currently confused.he was really close with this girl and i guess he took really good care of her till he had to change college.they were not a couple or anything of that sort,they were always just really good friends.

they still seemed close after that but one day the girl decided to erase all memory he had of her?i don't know,i think she deleted all the emails he had sent her and all the emails she had sent him.see,she knew his password you see?anyway he found out and i guess he was disappointed but he held no grudge against her,at least that's what he says la.

I don't know but i think the girl did that cos she either thought they were too close and it was limiting her options? or she just didn't want to see that guy thinking about her or she just didn't damn like him kua..

Now i have no idea how long they haven't spoken for but she messaged him saying she did all that cos she didn't want him to think of her anymore.dumb lerr?OBVIOUSLY he's going to remember her now lerr...and how does she expect to make things right again? if i was in his position,i'd feel so weird meeting or talking to her again.but he tells me no,he is waiting for her to make things right,for them to be good friends again after she gets her matters into the way they should be.i think he is too dumb to even think tha things would be normal again.

weird human beings.what do you guys think about the whole issue?

Female post

My mum is a bitch. That makes me a son of a bitch.

Puny little stuff also can exaggerate it to become a major stuff. Her habit of ' tokok tambah-nasi campur-susu kambing ' starting to get on my nerve. She always like to show you the smart side of herself which I utter it fail as I always caught her bluff.

My mum's from Negri Sembilan and I notice those *cough*friend *cough* of mine who born there as well has the similar characteristic. Sorry for being stereotyping.

Anyway, we know that girls apply cosmetic-chemical-onto their face preventing the blemishes from making out in the public. They got no choice actually. Because if they don't their significant half will fall for juicy young china doll that always lurks in coffee shop. (I kena flirt before okay~)

Normally girls/women/lady use their own money to buy cosmetic goods otherwise they steal(monthly allowance) it from their husband. My point here is do you know why guys don't personally buy cosmetic product for their other half?

Because men find CARS are more attractive than women.

Some uncle pays rm350 for a bloody car waxing. Its a monthly extraction. WTH!

That's the indonesian janda I always chit-chat with while waiting for my evo7 finish bathing her ass.Note: I refer my car as a female.

Unable to upload my car picture cause you know la...illegal stuff cannot publish ma...later JPJ take the initiative to visit here then die lo.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Chinese lady

I like to quarrel.

Following argument happened between me and an aunty who doubled parking on a street. Her MPV has gracefully blocked my way through. Well actually I still can lalu one but before I can do it, an uncle ngam-ngam just parked his scooter on the opposite side of the MPV. Leaving me no room to pass at all. Maklumlah, I was driving my dad's new Evo7 so have to becareful not to get dent on it ma...In front of the scooter parked another inconsiderate MPV. Overall it's not a good situation.

Me: (I'm not rushing at all so decided not to take the risk to squeeze in between the scooter and MPV) *honk* *honk* *honk*

My honking gets longer as I see no one responding. Finally the 5th honking I think, a lady walked down the walkway stair of the shoplot. I thought she's nobody to my predicament as she's stood at the walkway all along.

She walked in front of the MPV and assess the gap in front of me and signal me to pass as she thinks its an adequate space. From that moment, I'm pumped with adrenaline only I knew the MPV was actually belongs to her (I'm discriminating at that time)

Bitch : (signal me to move forward)

Me: ( shake my scowled head in decline while pointing at her MPV )

She had this muka tak puas hati after I continuously pointing at her car. That's when she walks to my window .

Bitch : Can pass ma!

Me: How can pass? This (pointing at the car) blocking the way. (I was fuming at that time) This bloody hell car blocking the way.

Bitch : Can pass la...! So big space. ( I can feel that she's trying to diss my driving skill )

Me: ( So I blamed others) The scooter blocked the way edi...

Bitch : ( run forth to the scooter and try hard to move it but with futile ) ( give another signal for me to move forward)

Me : ( Making more tak puas hati face and points back at the MPV )

Bitch : ( her lips moved and I presumed she was swearing at me)

She still don't want to drive her car away. She very mm-song edi. She tried DAMN hard to drag the scooter to give me some ample space through.

After seeing her trying so hard, I decided to pass then but not leaving without releasing my anger. As my car was 50 % clear from the tight space,

Me : ( Shouting as I get nearer to her) Nei dou chi kao seen. Kam yong lei park cheh? Diu lei la....

And sped off.

That's in Cantonese. In English means, " You also fucking crazy one. Like that is how you park your car ar? Fuck you la...

I angry is not because she doesn't want to move her car away but because she stood at the walkway all along when I was honking. You think I like honking ar? Diu...

tanjoubi omoedetto.

Xin yue kuai le ta bian lian
Selamat hari jadi muka tahi
Happy birthday shitface
Porundu naal valthukal pee munji

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This site is established as a medium to connect all our friends back together where we will ensure different views are injected into this project that promise lots of laughter. It will be operated by several blogger(quest) They are:


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