Sunday, July 5, 2009

Mak Ling Ling

Mak Ling Ling is the most well-known fortune teller in Hong Kong, and a self-proclaimed relationship specialist. As dodgy as fortunetelling is, Mak has learned a lot about relationships from years of hearing the dysfunctions and neuroses of Hong Kongers

Fortunetelling is so popular in Hong Kong because we also play the role of a shrink.

My clients are mostly female, mostly with relationship problems, and they mostly cry as soon as they speak.

A balanced life is a happy life. There are several supporting columns in buildings so the whole structure won’t fall when one column crumbles. So it is too with life: there should be more than one focus to make it balanced – but women just don’t get that.

Men, unlike women, do not put all their bets on a relationship – they develop careers, a social life, and hobbies. They can get through the day happily without a woman. To women, living without a man is equivalent to a life in hell.

Men need more than one woman just like women need another handbag or another pair of shoes.

Romantic love is the most elusive thing in the world – when people change, they change. To put all your hope in that only sets yourself up for failure.

Staying in a wrong relationship is worse than being single. Too many women equate marriage with happiness, divorce with misfortune, and being single with a curse. That’s bullshit. Everyday I have many clients weeping to me about their philandering husbands.

Love is problematic not because it is elusive; it is problematic because people are too hardheaded when dealing with such an elusive issue.

Women in their late twenties become frantic if they are not in a stable relationship.

Don’t dig for a truth that’s going to upset you. Some women regard themselves as the happiest person on earth until they find evidence their husbands are having affairs.

Checking your partner’s email or phone seldom brings any comfort though that may be what you have been looking for. Keep looking for disasters and they will come if you look long enough.

The very thing that one can’t have is usually the thing one wants most. Women in Hong Kong are desperate for men because they already have their careers.

When they fi nd a husband, they will start complaining about something else.

Ten out of ten men would like to have an affair – it’s just that not all of them have the courage to cheat. Men, by nature, always need excitement. A man in a mid-life crisis often falls in love with a young woman in order to feel like a young man again.

They crave the feeling of first love. A man who never cheats is somewhat like a person with anorexia – they both may suddenly fi nd themselves binging.

Hong Kongers are under a lot of stress but they don’t have enough emotional outlets. They almost never go to psychiatrists, so they either talk to the fortunetellers or they take it out on the maids, or both.

I did a rap song with the band “Fama.” It is scary that people actually liked the song. Even scarier, I might have to perform it on TVB.

If I could change fate, I wouldn’t be here talking to you, and the coffi n suppliers would be out of business because nobody would die.

There is only one way to learn about life – and that is to live it.

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