Sunday, March 9, 2008

Political epic satire

The GE-12 has just ended. Let's review some of the up and downside of the vigorous political tsunami calamity in the polls towards the used-to-be highly reverence class of society we love to sayang, Barisan Nasional.

The downside.

The day after the GE result has been official, Ah Kong ,the son of a used-to-be prominent Members of Parliament for the Barisan Nasional party, involuntarily(inevitable) engaged into below conversation.

Ah Kong's gf : Honey, I think we're over.

Ah Kong : Huh? (In surprise) What are you talking about dear? I don't understand. But how?

Ah Kong's gf : We're impossible to be together. (with a tone of reluctancy)

Ah Kong : What did I do wrong?

Ah Kong's gf : No. Nothing. You did nothing to me. It's just me. I can't get through my own obstacle. That's all.

Ah Kong : No. I don't believe you. Please tell me what's going on.

Ah Kong's gf : No. Nothing's wrong. Just that we're not fated.

Ah Kong : No. Tell me the truth please. Am I not sexually active enough for you?

Ah Kong's gf : You're perfectly active. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed doing with you , just that....

Ah Kong : (pause waiting for her to continue)

Ah Kong's gf : Just that your dad make me lose kao my face in front of my zhi mui. ( starts fuming) Mahai. You know how embarass I was at the mamak stall catching the poll result when your dad losses his Parliamentary seats to the opposition. Caocibai, my friend jeered me until I got no place to keep my face ar...niamia. Damn kao dulan. Now people say I'm a loser's bitch. I'm so fucking breaking up with you.

Things wasn't quite over yet as Ah Kong returns home with a broken heart, another life experience duly awaits him.

Ah Kong's father : Ah boy, come back edi ar?

Ah Kong : Ya, ah pah.

Ah Kong's father : Eh, ah boy where's you're car key?

AH Kong : Here, why? ( intriguing)

Ah Kong 's father : Aiya, nothing la. You know hor....(pause for a moment) (take a deep breath) drive proton wira lagi better la...

A new chapter of life awaits Ah Kong, a 21 year old lad who enjoyed being spendthrift since the age of 15, now has to starts wearing Carrefour 2 piece for rm10 shirt to college and starts to learn to value hard earned money eventhough we knows that's utterly impossible to happen. Life's change. When it's your turn to become the beggar, then it's your turn.

For every downside, there's an upside.


On the other side of the world, Ah Beng who has been perpetuately belittled and condescended for his entire life for growing up in a financially unstable family eventhough being knowledgable excelling in academics, an upsurge of luck has started to bestow his inferior down to earth life style.

On the day after the GE result has been official, Ah Beng goes to a nearby posh social club and tried to talk to a girl hopefully to get a hitch after all this years he has futilely attempted to hitch one. All blame it on his naturally born cosmetically challenged looking face. In other word, ugly.

Ah Beng : Hai, chick adik.

Hot girl : Yes?! (with sarcasm and a little bit of repugnance)

Ah Beng : Do you know who I am?

Hot girl : Err.. no. (typical pj girl's reply towards people who they think are a joke)

Ah Beng : You see properly my face. I look like who.

Hot girl : Wait a minute. You look like the opposition leader who just won a Parliamentary seat in xxxxx yesterday. Don't tell me you're his son.

Ah Beng : Well, I can't tell a lie to a sweet lady like you right.

Hot girl : Haha, that's flattering.

Ah Beng : Have you driven a ferrari before?

Hot girl : No.

Ah Beng : Me either but you know what, I drives a Mercedes Benz AMG CLK63. It just came in today. I was going to give it a spin just now,you wanna tag along? Maybe after that we can catch our dinner at Mandarin Oriental at VIP exclusive room. Oh did I tell you that I had a platinum card too? It came in today as well. Man,this things really convenience.

At henceforth, Ah Beng starts to enjoy the fake heart-throb lifestyle of being mob by lusciously curvacious killing body figure chicks with no sweat required.

Disclaimer: (I know this is a lousy post) above story was created out of sheer entertainment purposes but based on true story la...of course. I got a slutty friend who only sleeps with Datuk's son. Sigh. Slut at tender age. What her parent has been feeding her mind with la...

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