Chef Wantan

Dad was expected to be back late therefore we've to cook the rest of the dishes for dinner on our own.

Me: Bloody hell. He left us with 2 unfinished dish to cook.

Mom: I asked the maid cook the rest.

Me: Hell no! I'm cooking. How can you give a non-chinese to cook chinese cuisine?! It's like stuffing shit into your mouth. ( I was pretty vulgar at home if you havn't notice)

I hence proceed to ask the maid to prepare all the required cooking utensil.

Maid: You cook?

Me: Yeah. ( heavy sarcasm)

I commence with boiling the vegetable. A simple job that I've done numerous time. I let the water boil then sprinkle relevant condiment addition of some cooking oil. I then soak the vegetable until they turn into cooked colour. Means dark green la ,you noob! I picked a stem and give it a chew. It was crunchy. Cooked crunchiness. After that I placed all the cooked vegetable onto a plate, my assistant the maid, interupts,

" It's not cooked yet" ( My maid speak english)

" It's cooked ,damn it", I replied vigorously.

Next dish I was going to prepare is my mom's hometown, Bahau, signature chicken dip sauce. All the necessary ingredients are garlic,onion and ginger. All chopped into tiny pieces and then dump them into a ditch of boiling oil. Stir until it turns goldish colour. Add salt into the ditch of oil. Continue stirring and wahlah...it's done and ready to be served. Top the sauce with onion leaves.

I was half naked during the whole process and my maid was so eager to see me got boiled by some splashing hot oil. Unfortunately she didn't get the chance. Pity her.

I was pretty agitated when my maid condescend my cooking skill. The fright in her eyes is so flustering. Make me wanna spank her with the pan. For the record, the male species in my family has better cooking talent compared with the female species. My mom has a pretty bad sense of taste when it comes to cooking while my sis only know how to make nutritious food. Those grotesque blended juice. Euk..wanna barf whenever I recall of that. My dad learned cooking himself from those aunty tinggal kat rumah sebelah and used most of my mom's hometown recipe in his cooking menu.

My friend once asked me how many times have I cooked for a girl. I just told him , "definitely more than once"