Bimbo posting. Recap every shit you feel.Rambling warned.

" Dude, I need to blog.I need to blog! I need to pen down my current feeling NOW!" is exactly what I uttered in class yesterday at approximately 2.34pm. My hand is itched of typing down my emotion, wanting to let the whole world know what I was feeling at that particular moment of time.


I wanted to die. Commit suicide. My emo-ness has transended my body and soul, again. I can't no longer endure the agony. I need to end it, fast and thoroughly. I want to die yet frantic of pain infliction. I kinda like the feeling when the nurse poke a tranquillizer into my blood vein as an ease of pain when donating blood. It's titillating just for your info. Speaking of donating blood, how many brave guy/girl out there actually have the balls/tits of steel to donate blood?


I thought of cutting the wrist method, but its so scary. You have to endure the excruciating pain and blood spurts before you're officially departure from this deceitful world.That's too slow. I scared I'll fall asleep.


Of another method, killing myself upon driving at high speed is way too roller coaster shocking to me. To be honest, I've only ridden roller coaster once. The heart popping out experience is sadly admited never worth a second try. Even after every thrilling outright dangerous car overtaking stunt I took, I'll take a deep breath after that and repent doing such foolhardy act.



Moving on, I subsequently thought of jumping into a middle of any racial intensify clash so that people will slash me with their parang.It's titillating. Wait, how come I always have this sadomasochistic feeling whenever people wanna inflict injury upon me? Haha.



I want to have a suicide where I don't get to anticipate or taste any pain. I want to leave this world without pain as being my last feel. Maybe asking the US to drop a atomic bomb onto KL could fulfil this picky suicide attempt of mine. From there, all I will ever feel is a bright glaring white light gushing towards me and end my life abruptly. This sounds very cool. No pain but gain. But wait, that means all my friend living in KL will be sacrificed for my selfish crave. That's cool! Picture this in heaven," Gosh, finally I've leave that deceitful human kill human world down there. Hey, Kenny why are you here? Don't you have a class to attend tomorrow?"

Anyway, I can't be so selfish . Perhaps the only sensible options that ought to satisfy my picky criteria for painless and zero anticipation suicide attempt was to get someone to shoot me in the head from behind. Excecution style. However the downside of this method is, whose willing to do me this illicit favour?

Sigh. Now I'm out of option. Can anyone suggest a suicide method? Don't worry, I'm not going to mati so cepat. Got many things I haven't do yet. I just wanna see the creativity of my fellow avid readers. Hit me with some witty and creative way of commiting suicide.

*In an ultra procrastinating mode right now*

How now? No evidence...

Indeed Khir Toyo's men has been destroying all the important documents in the state office despite the mainstream media reported otherwise.


Here's a tip on how to become a ganster.

Got money for burial mou?

You know what's the funniest thing I found out today apart from me and a coursemate coincidently have the similar killing method of tackling a girl?

Datuk Zakaria Mat Deros die of heart attack today. Well, he should be. Not only has he lost his executive councillor position in Klang Municipal Council(MPK), so is his respetive family members. Hereafter, MPK will undergo an extreme makeover on its composition which will consist of former opposition and most importantly free of Zakaria regime.

It's actually looks like your typical Hong Kong drama ending scene for antagonis. The father a cunning businessman has a history of heart attack, the son is unfillial and spendrift who can't help but only contribute towards the plunge of company downside, while the daughter dupe the father for a cut of the company share conspired and incited by the daughter's husband aka son-in-law and run away to live happily ever after in land of far far away. At the end the father could no longer sustain the acrid crestfallen injury of his karmaful life dies of heart attack.

I wonder, where would Zakaria's family gonna live after this? Definitely not the palace because they no longer have money to set off the loan for the palace construction since all the family members now are jobless, well maybe Zakaria had pay lum sum for the construction fee hence no need to pay back loan but Badan Pencegah Rasuah (BPR) might wanna question Zakaria's estate over the controversial palace since now Zakaria's estate got no money to further bribe them anymore. Sigh. I think Zakaria's estate gonna leave on the street for sure because once BPR intervene, Zakaria's estate's estate will be freeze until investigation is completed.

That's why, don't just own one house. Now no house edi, where to live? Mild case scenario, as suggested by a girl , live in a condominium. But I always prefer worst case scenario which would be living on the street. Imagine this, a family of 20 comes knocks at your door step and beg for money. How cool is that? Definitely I'm gonna give 20 cent each. Don't you love being charitable?

This is the kind of scenario where I love to say, Ham Ka Chan!!!

Political epic satire

The GE-12 has just ended. Let's review some of the up and downside of the vigorous political tsunami calamity in the polls towards the used-to-be highly reverence class of society we love to sayang, Barisan Nasional.

The downside.

The day after the GE result has been official, Ah Kong ,the son of a used-to-be prominent Members of Parliament for the Barisan Nasional party, involuntarily(inevitable) engaged into below conversation.

Ah Kong's gf : Honey, I think we're over.

Ah Kong : Huh? (In surprise) What are you talking about dear? I don't understand. But how?

Ah Kong's gf : We're impossible to be together. (with a tone of reluctancy)

Ah Kong : What did I do wrong?

Ah Kong's gf : No. Nothing. You did nothing to me. It's just me. I can't get through my own obstacle. That's all.

Ah Kong : No. I don't believe you. Please tell me what's going on.

Ah Kong's gf : No. Nothing's wrong. Just that we're not fated.

Ah Kong : No. Tell me the truth please. Am I not sexually active enough for you?

Ah Kong's gf : You're perfectly active. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed doing with you , just that....

Ah Kong : (pause waiting for her to continue)

Ah Kong's gf : Just that your dad make me lose kao my face in front of my zhi mui. ( starts fuming) Mahai. You know how embarass I was at the mamak stall catching the poll result when your dad losses his Parliamentary seats to the opposition. Caocibai, my friend jeered me until I got no place to keep my face ar...niamia. Damn kao dulan. Now people say I'm a loser's bitch. I'm so fucking breaking up with you.

Things wasn't quite over yet as Ah Kong returns home with a broken heart, another life experience duly awaits him.

Ah Kong's father : Ah boy, come back edi ar?

Ah Kong : Ya, ah pah.

Ah Kong's father : Eh, ah boy where's you're car key?

AH Kong : Here, why? ( intriguing)

Ah Kong 's father : Aiya, nothing la. You know hor....(pause for a moment) (take a deep breath) drive proton wira lagi better la...

A new chapter of life awaits Ah Kong, a 21 year old lad who enjoyed being spendthrift since the age of 15, now has to starts wearing Carrefour 2 piece for rm10 shirt to college and starts to learn to value hard earned money eventhough we knows that's utterly impossible to happen. Life's change. When it's your turn to become the beggar, then it's your turn.

For every downside, there's an upside.

Upside.

On the other side of the world, Ah Beng who has been perpetuately belittled and condescended for his entire life for growing up in a financially unstable family eventhough being knowledgable excelling in academics, an upsurge of luck has started to bestow his inferior down to earth life style.

On the day after the GE result has been official, Ah Beng goes to a nearby posh social club and tried to talk to a girl hopefully to get a hitch after all this years he has futilely attempted to hitch one. All blame it on his naturally born cosmetically challenged looking face. In other word, ugly.

Ah Beng : Hai, chick adik.

Hot girl : Yes?! (with sarcasm and a little bit of repugnance)

Ah Beng : Do you know who I am?

Hot girl : Err.. no. (typical pj girl's reply towards people who they think are a joke)

Ah Beng : You see properly my face. I look like who.

Hot girl : Wait a minute. You look like the opposition leader who just won a Parliamentary seat in xxxxx yesterday. Don't tell me you're his son.

Ah Beng : Well, I can't tell a lie to a sweet lady like you right.

Hot girl : Haha, that's flattering.

Ah Beng : Have you driven a ferrari before?

Hot girl : No.

Ah Beng : Me either but you know what, I drives a Mercedes Benz AMG CLK63. It just came in today. I was going to give it a spin just now,you wanna tag along? Maybe after that we can catch our dinner at Mandarin Oriental at VIP exclusive room. Oh did I tell you that I had a platinum card too? It came in today as well. Man,this things really convenience.


At henceforth, Ah Beng starts to enjoy the fake heart-throb lifestyle of being mob by lusciously curvacious killing body figure chicks with no sweat required.


Disclaimer: (I know this is a lousy post) above story was created out of sheer entertainment purposes but based on true story la...of course. I got a slutty friend who only sleeps with Datuk's son. Sigh. Slut at tender age. What her parent has been feeding her mind with la...

I urged you people....

I urged all opposition supporters out there, do not celebrate if we were to win. Please stay calm. We do not want to tense up the atmoshpere on the street. We all should know mat rempits would'nt see the election result as maturely as we do. Don't add another dark history into our child's history textbook.

Please stay calm....

Sha..la..la..political remixed

Here's some entertainment before polling day.



Visit www.comedycourt.com.my for more ticklish humour.

40K just to say "marry me"...

Sigh. Kepala pusing. Mo Ngan Tai.

The most talked topic in blogosphere right now ,apart from GE-12 , is the 40K ringgit billboard marriage proposal by a hick named David to his beloved significant half, Kelly Tan E Li along LDP highway on Valentine's Day.

The lamest trick out of the book. All the strain he has to get down to was to copy from our typical "Taiwanese ah-beng ah-lian romance movie" for his puny insincere trick, and incorporate it as if it's his own hard thought concept and ideas. You know why I deplore his method of kao-ing his lady? The answer is simply. Lack of sincerity and utterly boastful.

First and foremost, of course it's not my deal to say anything if he's a wealthy rich middle-men who has tones of money to spend and it's justiciable for him to do so but to be spendthrift at the age of 26 I presume he must either earns 6 digit per month or he has a super wealthy daddy. His particular as disclosed in the newspaper, Mr. David here works as an account executive in an advertising company. EXECUTIVE sial!!!! How often can you find an executive at age 26? fucking rare if you ask me.

There's only 2 ways to mould an elusive young executive breed like David here. First, he must have started building his career earlier way before he finishes his PMR examination, in other word a genius who walks faster than the rest of the common people and climbs the corporate ladder like playing snake and ladder(excuse the lame comparison). Or two, that it's his dad's fucking company he's currently holding that executive position in! From his dorky look, we can safely concede its the latter mould because as we know , a genius wouldn't have done what he had did.

Fine, he has a rich daddy. We're envious. You can't expect a filty rich man's son not to be treated as a prince and spends his dad's hard(easy?) earned money unfetteringly right? It's like asking Lim Goh Tong's descendant not to use a single shit of his bloodshed money.

So next intrigue question is, why do you need to waste so much of money to dupe a ladies heart? Is it Kelly's chee-bye made out of plated gold as Shadowfox eloquently put it. Kelly Tan E Li , at first I mistaken her occupation as a nail polisher as I wasn't paying much attention into my reading (just wanna skip the deceitful conspiracial article) so almost fume at David's foolhardy act for unnecessarily wasting money for a pathetic twat. As I read carefully, Kelly Tan rupa-rupanya is a nail salon owner in Bangsar and she's just 24 years old. WTF! This one more teruk. Her own business somemore. At her age, girls ngam-ngam start to build their career in this highly competitive gender equal world. Some have to sacrifice their dignity just to get the opportunity to earn higher than the rest unlike Kelly here. No doubt, without any refute, her nail salon must be modal by her sweet ah pah who can't effort to see her sweet little over-pampered princess suffers the brunt of being someone's employee.

I want to recapitulate. It's clearly obvious that the so call romantic billboard marriage proposal was a rich man's game. Only dumbass rich unfillial doofus kid will idiotically and blatantly announces his wealth to the general public and making a big ass huge 40k offer for criminal to kidnap his ass and extort the hell off shit out of his dad's coffin saving.

Me and my brother has conceded that it's normal for you to spendthrift, boast out your wealthiness if you wanna shag a rich man's daughter because no way poor guy like yours trully gonna get hitch with a rich man's daughter whose willing to eat bobo chacha with you by the roadside enduring all the carbon dioxide. If that ever happens, pigs can fly edi.

Quote from my brother, " Ini adalah seumpama mengunakan duit untuk menghimpit orang" (Lo chin lei tat yan)

My best wishes to David and Kelly, may both of you escape prospect extortion envisaged gonna bestowed on you and your family members and may God always be myside.